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Oh yeah, and then, in a strange turn of events, the Vatican will be celebrating the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin. Go figure.
Oh yeah, and I still have more midterms to study for. And you were wondering why this blog actually had content in it for once. I'm falling asleep as i sit here. I think it's time for a nap.
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
sleepy
Yes, chocolate can indeed save the world! And it tastes really, really good when in well, everything... And with the price of rice and oil going up, maybe the world should switch to chocolate as a staple crop, replace all of that silly corn with it or something (yes, I know this would not be implementable in temperate countries like the US) and use cocoa for fuel in some fashion instead, thus saving the economies of the world too!
oh and the water is sputtering, but looks like it's finally running at a better speed again! No more pathetic trickle!
Good lord but I have a lot of studying to do...
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
happy - Music:sink dripping
- Location:apartment
9 AM: Go to class. Instructor spoke in a sleepy monotone about how he wouldn't tell a friend of his that what he was doing could incur permanent muscular damage, allegedly because the guy looked like he was having fun; and the professor "wasn't his physician," so didn't feel like it was his place. Leaves me with less respect for this professor. To me, if someone you know (don't have to like them) is potentially hurting themselves and most likely doesn't know that, then it's kind of like hurting them yourself to go on without even telling them that they're doing so. Sure, it's not one's responsibility and potentially even rude to forcibly attempt to change or nag a person after they're already aware of the potential damage they're causing. But leaving them completely in the dark? That's cowardly and immoral, not to mention unethical on the part of a doctor, if you ask me. Even if he's too much of a chicken to tell the guy, find another doctor that this guy knows better to tell him about it. And, no, this is not about smoking or the evils of donuts (no they're not evil, can we keep lying to ourselves on that one for a little while longer?...please?) This was about a syndrome that can happen decades later to people who used to have polio if they overdo it with the muscles that still do work. The guy really might not know if he doesn't have a medical degree. Not everyone gets perfectly well informed of their own illness. Ok, maybe it really isn't his responsibility, and it's not fair to force people to get medical care when they don't ask for it...but still...doesn't seem quite right...
10 AM: almost utter waste of time spent in an alternative way, studying for quiz later that day instead.
11AM: Teacher actually speaks english as a first language. The first pathology professor to do this, well, ever. Nice change of pace to be able to go an entire hour without, "what did she say?" And yes, I am half indian, and thus should be able to understand most indian accents, but that gets a bit difficult when they're mumbled and in some cases incredibly rude about not repeating themselves in the midst of their intensely rapid mumbling session...Accents are just fine with me, as long as people realize they have them and make an effort to speak clearly when speaking in public.
1PM: Quiz: stick a speculum up Grace's nose, point a penlight at her sinuses, looking for the see-through spaces in her head. And then get told I did well. Aaah, medical school.
3-5 PM: Suffer through path lab.
5- onwards: aaargh...
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
worried - Music:H3llb3nt
Well, Midterms are over but suddenly I have more studying than ever before...Most of my professors have decided that they weren't really pushing us hard enough, and they needed to show us the steroids enhanced version of medical school; because apparently, what we had wasn't challenging enough...
But last weekend, I went on a catamaran ride...Road on a boat, called Shadowfax and sat towards the front most of the way, enjoying the bumpy ride, wave's splashing in my face and drenching me completely through to the skin...I tried snorkeling (ok, it was the baby way, complete with a life vest called a horse collar and that ring) in an underwater sculpture garden, and later, there was a barbecue on this little island that apparently is only used for parties...
I learned that thus far, I do not get seasick. I do NOT have sea legs, by any stretch of the imagination, but at least I do not get sea sick. So far.
I swam in deep water for the first time ever, about 25-35 feet in fact, which is a first for me. One of these days, I fully intend to try it without a floatation device strapped to me.
The barbecue was actually ok too, even for a vegetarian, with a barefoot nature walk through dried out sharp twigs and rocks that I wouldn't recommend doing again. Shoes are a good thing, occasionally.
And now? back to sitting in front of my microbiology notes while I chat online...
the celebratory afternoon yesterday started off with me eating my lunch out of the back of a van with Dave, Ishie and Lori...Considering it was off the back of a truck, lately I trust it 15 times more than I do the cafeteria food, thanks to a story involving a certain bread pizza that shall go untold due to this being a blog my mother and her friends read. Suffice it to say, it involved matter that COULD NOT have gotten into the food by accident. Brown van food is also cheaper and tastes better, so it's a win win situation.
Our next step was to go back to our rooms and for some reason, chat online for two hours with each other, followed by a trip to get smoothies with Krashley (ok, fine, her real name is Kristin-Ashley, but Krashley suits her soo well, despite the fact that I really doubt she ever crashes; she's quite athletic after all.)
Smoothies became KFC (somebody used the word biscuit in a sentence and that was all it took), where I discovered that KFC's biscuits have vegetable shortening, not lard (yay!)...the feeding frenzy went on...
Afterwards, me and Ishie were hanging around her apartment, contemplating watching Pirates of the Caribbean on cable, when she says, "do you want to get a drink at the wine bar?" To which I said yes, because I was starting to realize that I am getting old and pathetic. When sitting in one's apartment (or a friend's apartment), watching cable tv seems like a plausible way to celebrate the end of midterms, it's time to start taking action. So, we prettied up a bit, got on what looked like the bus to the wine bar, when wouldn't you know it, the bus took a wrong turn and ended up at Aquarium for the African Student's Association party, for which I was accidentally wearing the right colors. Ok, so maybe it was us that got on the wrong bus rather than it being the bus driver's fault. But hey, it was a really good mistake. Now I can say that yes, I definitely did celebrate the end of midterms, and in high style, even if it was accidental.
And now? Maybe some groceries, maybe a movie off my computer? And perhaps I should check my computer to see what it decided to delete. This computer used to be overloaded and give me a pop up every ten minutes telling me I had low drive space when suddenly, this morning it told me that I have somehow managed to clear enough space on my computer to keep it happy. I don't know how it did that and I know that I certainly didn't delete anything significant today. I hope it didn't delete anything important.
- Location:apartment
- Mood: happy
Microbiology is on Friday, and the needle to my ass that I needed to get myself working quickly came late today. But hey, I am going to continue to tell myself that I enjoy learning about the 8 different varieties of herpes virus, the 60,000 different ways one can experience strep and staph infections and hopefully, it will be true one of these days. Ah hell, studying creepy crawlies and the nasty looking spots they create is kind of interesting when they leave DNA out of it.
Oh yeah, I did it. I caved. I have toned down my resentment for all things high school and actually joined the reunion group on facebook. You might say that it's just the internet and it's meaningless, but this is quite a step for me. Right about now, being that it's around 1 AM, I'm feeling sort of thoughtful and philosophical about the whole issue and my opinion of this decision may very well change come morning. However, right about now, I'm very curious about what all of the people I grew up with are doing with themselves and the people they've become. At one time, and in fact for many, many years, I thought that those years were best locked up and never looked at again, hopefully forgotten forever. There are certain elements of those years that I would rather not remember, rather not have happened; numerous ones in fact. Perhaps I'm just a dumb sap, hoping to suddenly be loved and treated like a human being in social circles where I never have been and never will be. But then the rational part of me says, you know, not everyone was awful, horrible and worthy of the death penalty in high school. Some people were in fact quite nice; you have even had some very interesting conversations with them since then. So sue me, I have mixed feelings. I suppose 2009 is two whole years away, and who knows where me or anyone else will be by then. I hope to be home.
And now it's time for bed.
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:Boat horn outside
Over here on the rock, it's still midterms, which means I am insanely busy studying and aught to be doing that right now. But in my own contribution, I have attempted to reduce the usage of canned products (they don't recycle here on the rock) and have a tendency to go to the library to study, thus saving myself lots of money that would formerly have been spent on my electric bill (also bad for the environment.) To get there I use the bus, and those of you who know me in New York would know that me not behind the wheel of a car is not such a bad thing for pedestrians/vehicles/innocent bystanding animals either. If I think of any other environmentally friendly ideas I will attempt to implement them too. This is your official guilt trip. Could you be carpooling tomorrow? Why aren't you? The planet could die if you don't do something! And we wouldn't live through that!
Those of you thinking about doing something environmentally unsound, please, think of the glaciers! Oh yeah, and speaking of which, think of Nina's birthday: It's coming up on April 13th. I thought I would remind people.
- Location:apartment
- Mood: tired
- Music:listening to Otep earlier
So far, this week has featured Neoplasms and yet more bacteria (as it always does in Microbiology). For those of you not in medical school, neoplasms are cancers and cancer like things.
Oh yeah, some news I've read.
So apparently, pharmaceutical companies aren't even checking their drugs when they're testing them on kids, not for safety at least.
You know, lots of proponents of that whole "all mainstream medicine, all the time" philosophy like to brag that their medical practices are based on randomized clinical trials, and are well tested and evaluated before being tried. Um, guys? Yeah, so apparently these randomized clinical trials are going on, but the pharmaceutical companies aren't really paying attention to them. First we found out a month or so ago that anti-depressants don't actually work, at least not on people that have normal levels of depression. Apparently the pharmaceutical companies have been telling us a rather oversized little white lie for the past few decades about that.
Now we find out that the pharmaceutical companies will risk the safety of cute, little, cuddly-yet-gooey children for the sake of their profit (and these are international trials folks, so you can't just blame the FDA for this one.) Furthermore, if they're not really concerned about whether or not the kids die from the drugs they're peddling, do you really think they're all that concerned about the effectiveness of these drugs? What does this say for all of the other drugs on the market? Do we really believe that the pharmaceutical companies only tell the occasional white lie and that all the rest of it is completely, totally trustworthy?
Yeah, you know what this is telling me? All of those drugs that the general Medical world and proponents of it think they know so much about? We don't necessarily know any more about them than we do about the home remedies my Mother used to brew up in the kitchen for me while I hid under the table trying to avoid them as a child. So yeah, I'm disappointed to be making this argument, but, randomized clinical trials are no longer a defense for mainstream medicine. Maybe some day they will be, but not right now they're not. People would have to use them honestly for them to do any good.
- Location:apartment
- Mood:busy
- Music:The best of Verdi?
who's idea was it to make this a 21 credit term?!!? If someone can point him or her out for me, I'll gladly shoot them myself! Third term only had 6 credits! just 6! and this one has 21!! Insensible lack of planning anybody? Why not add one of the fourth term classes to third term, balance it out, and keep the sanity going another day!!
I have said to upper termers that ask how i'm doing, "well, I had too much sanity anyways..." but you know what? I do not have too much sanity! I need every freaking drop of it I can hold on to! I'm losing myself in medical school. I'm losing fundamental parts of myself that make me who I am. Those of you that know me would understand the import of the fact that in the past months, I have actually uttered the words, "I do not feel like arguing about it." I tolerate people that are outright rude to me, simply for the sake of not having to bring up the issue, and avoid defending myself when I have a valid right to do so. I am that tired.
I do not eat right, I do not have any time for exercise. I am no doubt destroying my body, as so many of my classmates are also doing to themselves.
And yes, all of this hard work and the maladaptive habits are just a part of medical school. But there's more: I still live on a rock in the middle of nowhere! I still live with food I am not used to, away from such basic joys as being able to walk into a shoe store and find a pair of shoes that is both comfortable and affordable. I do not care about the beach. I do not care about the sun that shines every stupid day. I do not care that I have my own apartment here and thus, do not have to share a bathroom with anyone. I do not care that I can get fresher papaya here than I can in New York. I do not want papaya. I just want a rest. Just a few days spent where there are no obligations looming over my head. To sleep in a soft bed and be served warm food that was made with me in mind by someone who loves me. And don't tell me that this is part of growing up, that I should feel lucky to be living in the Caribbean, that we're all alone in the world. We're not, this isn't some great fortune I've been given, and living completely alone in a totally foreign country is not a part of everybody's adulthood.
I miss my home.
- Location:apartment
- Mood: depressed
But apparently, the Pakistani power company doesn't : The entire city of Karachi had it's power cut off today for not paying it's electric bill on time. I know times can get difficult, and letting things slide too much is bad for business, but to take one of the largest cities in the country and cut off it's power? I don't know. I don't know how it's benefiting anyone. Unless the power company really believes that cutting power supply to the entire city will actually help? But then, I don't have any other ideas for how one should get a city to pay it's electric bill, so maybe I shouldn't be talking.
And now, it's probably time for bed, if I can convince myself to stand up.
According to the word on the street (or in the library), Microbiology was going at double speed all last week to account for the fact that Pathology will be starting on Monday. Now, the professors writing our pathology notes would like us to know that, no, this class is not dredged up from the deepest pits of hell the way the rumors say it is, but well, I'll just see about that. They've already tried to forcibly institute a dress code, one that we've gotten no prior notice of and presents no real functionality. I don't need to be protected from power point slides after all, nor will they need to be convinced of my professionalism, since they are inanimate objects.
But at least microbiology lab ended up being fun, even if I do seem to be gram positive (I have violet dye spots on me, for those of you not in microbio lab.)
I also spent some of my last chance at breathing at Grace, Jill, Patty and Aaron's party on Friday, which was really nice. They have a lovely house out in the middle of nowhere, Lance Aux Epine's, complete with vaulted wooden ceilings and a large veranda that was really quite perfect for a party/ barbecue.
And now I must get back to the pot I left cooking on the stove. I fully intend to pack lunch and avoid poisoning myself on the cafeteria food this term.
- Location:apartment
- Music:cook pot and gardener making a racket outside
To those of you not at school with me here on the rock, fourth term is the big specter that looms over our heads from the second we land here. They tell us that first and fourth term are the hardest, and fourth term makes first term look like cake. So far the gossip hasn't entirely been true, but just the same, when people say it often enough it makes you wonder how much of it is true. Pathology is a thirteen credit course after all. So, on my weekend off, I got the fortune of waking up early and not being able to truly fall back asleep for fear of the possibly impending doom. But I am going to try to think positive, and I am going to say that the rumors are not true; fourth term will not spell doom of any form. It will be an enjoyable walk in the park on a nice fall day. Everyone chant that with me here.
And so far? I don't actually have studying that I absolutely must get done, so I've been puttering around my room since early afternoon. I have cleaned elements of my apartment, done a load of laundry, and put in a second one (the shoes need washing too.) I don't really want to clean out my fridge, or I would start on that too. And most of you that know me well know that me cleaning to this degree means that I am well and truly losing my mind.
Currently, I feel like perhaps the best way to deal with my low grade anxiety about the whole thing is to study microbiology ahead of time. Which yes, makes me massively dorky, and may not be wise. But hey, if it gets me to sleep easier at night...
- Location:apartment
- Mood:fidgety
- Music:a variety of things today...
Yeah, so today marks the end of third term, and I have a big, tremendous, super roomy, too-much-time-on-my-hands sized break of two days before fourth term starts. Can you see the sarcasm in that statement? Because if you didn't, I'll let you know: I'm being sarcastic. Two days is not enough, I want a WEEK!!
Sadly, I do not have any genuinely exciting plans for the weekend. I will likely clean out my fridge, do some cooking, thus refilling it with fresh stuff, and very likely paint my toenails. Whether or not I go to the beach is still up for debate. Oh and I think I'm going to fish friday tonight. I'll keep you all posted.
But hey, now I can say, I have been partially trained in how to treat people for drug addiction and bad sex life. And no, sex therapy does not include live demonstration. I can also diagnose friends, relatives and even minor acquaintances with disorders that they never would have dreamed of having.
And in other news, my airconditioner has aspirations of becoming a jumbo jet; it's managed to get the noise down pat. The super and building manager claim they're trying to get a repairman for it. We'll just see about that.
If he were to wait one more year, a new president would be in office, and just by virtue of not being a Bush (we sincerely hope), the new president would be more competent to handle this situation than Bush is. I don't even care if it's a republican for this particular purpose;Giuliani is no longer running after all. Just anybody but Bush!
Oh well...there are lots of other places in the south western hemisphere to visit. I'll just have to go see all of those first and hope that Cuba becomes legal within my life time. I'm not even really pining to go see Cuba. I just see a missed opportunity here.
So what else has happened lately? I went to the library, I went to class, I attempted to study. And, for the first time in MONTHS, by special request of the professor (one of her fans), Ishie will be going to class. If it wouldn't end with me being beaten to death with it, I would bring my camera to commemorate the occasion. As it is, if I go on with this subject I will be risking life and limb, and thus, must stop here.
Oh yeah, as for very silly uses for time? Check this out. Apparently some lady in England actually got her "ye olde privy" made into a national monument. She apparently has so much time on her hands that she sits by it with the door open sipping drinks in the afternoon or what not. Why don't they provide the poor suffering souls who actually take the time to do this with a list of useful things they could be accomplishing? Think of all of the children they could knit sweaters for, or all of the baby seals they could rescue!
and don't pay attention to the disgruntled smiley face down there...ok does not mean disgruntled, it means non-specific mood with no particular grievance in mind before going to bed
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
okay - Music:fridge humming
I had a test yesterday, the second midterm of term 3. You know, upper termers like to say that the third term of medical school is easy, but I have to say, many of us beg to differ on that point. We have such irritants as statistics, epidemiology and yucky psychiatry professors who test us out of a textbook that we don't have time to read (most teachers only test out of lecture materials, which is more than enough.) And I still end up at the library most days.
I would have interesting stories to tell, but, well, I don't have any. I've been studying. The housekeeper did not do the dishes today, instead choosing to take them out of the sink and pretend they weren't dirty. It's been raining on and off for days, despite the fact that it should be dry season by now. It still has not started snowing here. And I bought myself a box of brownie mix that I have not let myself cook just yet. I am hoping to see brownies that aren't burnt come out of my ricecooker this time. People claim brownies can be done in rice cookers, and technically, the brownies I made last time were brownie-like, if a little burnt. Ah well, there's time enough to be a glutton later this week.
Oh and the depressing news for diet fiends everywhere? Apparently, diet soda is linked with metabolic syndrome (the collection of illnesses surrounding and including obesity.) I showed this article to a few friends of mine here; they are currently in the Acute Disbelief Stage of Grieving. It's something we learned about in psychology.
- Location:apartment
- Mood: tired
- Music:Frogs chirping, sink dripping, random noises....
I am currently in the library...just got through four hours worth of sonic foundry (for non medical students, that's online streaming video of lectures, with pause, rewind and speed change buttons and the power points in their own window.)
Yesterday was the alternative medicine selective. That's the one day a term when the medical school funds a bunch of alternative medicine specialists from different fields to speak to medical students that opted into this elective about why their version of medicine is just great and wonderful and soo scientific. One of our guest lecturers was this guy specializing in PIP photography (don't remember what that stands for.) Now, this photography is supposed to show one's aura on camera. He kept saying he was a "Scientist" soo often that I really think it's probably a whole lot less true than he'd like to think it is. In real life, he didn't have a single bit of real research to show us and his presentation didn't require any statistics; well, except for the pie chart representing his "prevention pie," 80% of which was taken up by drinking more water. He also proceeded to promote some books on the wonders of water for the body and the author's observation that if one freezes water and yells at it while doing so, it crystallizes differently. Data were not presented for this observation, measurements were not taken, we were told merely that the crystal patterns appear more angry looking, with larger spikes or something (or so one of my fellow colleagues said. I missed that little tidbit of information.) Furthermore, apparently blockages in one's aura lead to problems physically, and these can be seen on camera. One of our other guest lecturers went onto say that critics don't like this kind of thing because they're thinking in terms of newtonian physics, when actually this is all about quantum physics. What do I think? Hey, if it's physics, show me an equation and I'll shut my mouth. I'm sure even quantum physics is measurable. Say this is a spiritual system, say this is a belief system, sure, I'll buy that. Hey, I do tarot cards and believe in that quite thoroughly; I've seen it work. But to me, if you are going to call on physics to a bunch of people that have all taken it as a requirement to sit the class, you should be able to present a hypothesis with some physics in it.
Now, I'm not trying to say that there are no such things as auras and chakras and energy and an effect from being angry (who knows? maybe some pheromones are released that blend with the water when you breathe on the ice forming.) Lord knows, Sarah was identifying things via my chakras in the workshop that she had no way or reason to know otherwise. They are also consistenly trying to teach us to be more respectful of other religious beliefs and ways of healing in school here, so I will endeavor to be more polite with regards to this subject. But this is a medical school, and a mainstream one, and I want to see more science.
As I learn more, I see more and more of the fact that many of these people are just as in it for the money as the rest of us are, and have no research to present because they do not want to hinder their profits. Granted, some of these people are decent, honest human beings who really want to make a difference in the world and do seem to have something to offer. There was a homeopathic physician, who despite having an overlong presentation, did attempt to show us randomized clinical trials and at least felt that we deserved an attempt to prove the validity of his statements to us. There was also a reflexologist who, although he didn't show us research, and truthfully did bring a set of books that we could buy if we wished, seemed the least like a salesman of the entire group.
And I have not descended completely into the sceptical alternative hating type that pops my pills and then takes a few more pills to account for the side effects of the first set. There is merit to lots of alternative methods that exist that take criticism that is undeserved. I just don't like salespeople at what was supposed to be a class that I paid for.
Ok, so I'm disappointed in this class. Why can't they just offer a class in herbal pharmacology or something? At least that would be practical. Or accupuncture, or ayurveda, chinese medicine, or even an entire class on homeopathy. But kirlian photography? That's a little left of center even for me.
- Location:library
- Music:it's the library! what music?
Anyways, onto that part about puppies. So, Sunday morning I'm slowly and lazily making my way to the bus stop to go the library, and who comes by for a visit but a random stray pothound. Pothounds are the local variety of stray that apparently is so named because they are notorious for picking food out of potholes. Honestly, I've never seen potholes with food in them, but hey, if the dogs can find something, more power to them. In light of the approaching stray, I launched into plan A; look disinterested and away, in an attempt to fool the dog into thinking that I'm not afraid some random, flea bitten stray is going to walk up to me and start taking bites out of my flesh. However, I did not manage to inform the dog of his part in Plan A, and rather than walking disinterestedly away as he was supposed to, he came and rubbed up against my leg the way a cat would (yes I had full length pants on, thank goodness.) Let us all pause for a minute to say aw, how cute...
Ok, finished gushing? I figured, ok, this is strange, don't know if he's going to just take a bite a bit later, not leave until I give him some food, or what. I thought that perhaps the best course of action would be to get him to leave me alone, so I tried walking back to my apartment. Ten feet down the street, I turn around and notice that somebody decided to follow me, followed me all the way to the complex in fact; where the guard laughed and didn't really help get him to go away. And yes, I tried shooing the dog away but it seems dogs do not know the word shoo. So I figured, before I feed the poor bag of fleas, let's ask Ishie what to do with a wild animal that has suddenly decided to follow me. Apparently knocking on her door and imploring her to hurry up and open the door gave her the impression that I was being attacked. I was not, I was merely apprehensive about the potential for a future attack. Apparently once a dog decides you are a food provider rather than a source attack is a bit more improbable. I did not know this at the time.
This morning, who did I see barking at the dogs locked safely behind the fence where they couldn't attack him or the humans at the bus stop but everyone's favorite bag of fleas. Again. I'm going to see what name he prefers most the next time I see him, but I think his name is going to be Mojito. Don't know what else I'm going to do. Maybe some sympathetic vet student will help me get him cleaned up. He will not be living with me however. And I am not going to let him get dependent on me by feeding him.
And how in the midst of all this can I conclude that I am turning into my mother? Have you ever found enough ingredients and details to fill a page worth of email in regards to an omelet recipe? Because I just did. Ah well, I suppose Mom is a good cook.
- Location:apartment
- Mood:ambivalent
- Music:Frogs chirping incessantly
But alas, for I cannot go into space right now; I must finish medical school. And sadly, statistics has more to see than the internet right now. Will somebody rescue me/ take me to get my head examined?
- Location:apartment
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:Rob Zombie
